Let me start today that i never thought lifting 7 lbs would make me out of breath. . . Now your all saying WTF 7 pounds well let me break it down. . . I lost 57 lbs I had on my shoulders a 40 lbs dog food and a 25 lbs of birds seed. . 40 + 25= 65 – 57= 7. When your Fluffy, big boned large FAT what ever you want to call it you never see the Weight. . when you are in a relation ship you get complacent and let your self go. . STOP that your partner wants to show you off and when you weight 340 pound you look like CRAP. They want sexy not FFS really the Pillsbury dough boy. . . this is not the normal post that will I hope inspire a talk between you and your wife husband girl/boy friend its a chat you need to have with your self as Christopher Titus said IF YOUR NOT WITH IN 10% of your starting dating weight YOUR the issue not them. . . . So here is a recap talk to partner, talk to your self about your actions and your life style. . . and always tell them there sexy and hug them. .
Model “Lady Atropin” and husband “Langmann Ingoson” Photographer: “Bully-Pictures”
“Forgiveness is a choice. Don’t wait for it to just wash over you all of a sudden. You have to choose it” – Dr.Phil
We hate our selves. . Yes I just said what no one wants to admit. Most people cant stand the face in the mirror, or they displace there feelings onto others to lighten there dislike for them selves. To love ones self is not a crime, in many cases we don’t. What we need to do is forgive ourselves for the sins of the past. LET IT THE FUCK GO… Its not a coat to keep you warm, in fact it makes you colder. Its not armor to keep you safe, it makes you more vulnerable. It does not make you strong, it makes you weaker. What it is, is a way for us to give pennants to our selves. Its ok to love your self, to forgive your self. What is not ok is to build a wall so high, so think you cant find even your self. IF YOU WANT TO BE FREE…..forgive your self, there is no joy, no happy, no completion, if you cant forgive your self.. I know this first hand. . . because I have never forgiven many of my friends and family for things… What I discovered is that I have become a lesser person for holding on to it. . . I lost something very dear to me, because I could not forgive. As I sat and talk to them, I found out that they can not forgive either. How sad we both are for giving the power for happiness away. I will try. “No. Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda < for the geeks……. IF I want to be happy and maybe once again travel with someone I truly love I must learn to forgive my self first then others because it does not work the other way around…….
And so it begins. . . That’s a great opening now what? do we just sigh and let it hang like that what begins? and if it is beginning what’s ending so this can begin?! If your reading this you know me I’m rude harsh and well not the most friendly. Over the past 7 years I have kinda been walled up and not really ready to begin. . I have lost 60 pounds (57) but wanted to see a round number there. . Life has looked at me and said Ya complacency not a good look on you so Here you go more bull shit and when your done with that I have a cow barn in July that needs cleaning. . . I have great people around me that’s helping me these notes I leave are my thoughts and observations and a lot of them are personal to me but many see them selves in the words. . A wonderful person is giving me my wings back and a friends is giving me a place to land. its time to Pull the pin and see what’s next. . There is no Eye opening revelation in this one, there is a sad broken man piecing his broken self back together. . When its over (a relationship) or a life has ended there are ripples. Some bad, some good as humans we see the bad. . . But at some point you need to look at the good…. I’m close to that point. I have never used a name of any one in this rant over the past 22 days and I never will because there not about one person there about looking at things and see where I can be better. I have been OD’ing on youtube videos to help inspire me in this change I use some of them in my rants. . The one that I think of the most is
― Will Smith
Day 31: ” why do we fall, . . .? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. Thomas Wayne:
I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.
you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find––
is they are not always with whom we spend our lives”
― Beau Taplin, Hunting Season
Day 27: Over draft protection: Ever known a person and think I just can deal with them to day. They over drawn on there friend ship account. We all have an emotional bank account. In a friendship, relationship or even the work place. It works like this a smile 5 buck a hello how are things 20 bucks etc.. when you need it, its there and when your snarly this account pays out. Well at some point the in and out need to match or you go in to the red… You cant constantly make withdrawals and not pay back. . I have had my share on both sides of this. My Best friend and I are so over drawn on each other that no mater what we do it just causes more over draft. . . In the long run we hope,.. WELL I hope that the friend ship that is saved, one in which I hold more valuable than gold will prove worth the over draft and pain. In a relationship your are responsible for your actions and the wellbeing of you and your partner’s, this does not end. If you and your Ex are better friends than lovers you are still responsible for your actions and in some ways them.. If they get sick or need a shoulder don’t be a Shit and say not my problem. YOUR THERE FRIEND its your problem. If I end up a broken man in some cave some place I know there are 4 people that will look for me. In return there are 4 people I will do what ever it takes to help them. . I don’t date them or sleep with them. Its something deeper. There account is safe we have payments and withdrawals. . how are your accounts looking with your friends?
I CALL BULLSHIT: This is what happens when you try to make a very thin excuse when you know you are doing something that annoys people. Look own it. You did it, very few things are apples to apples. and even fewer are a=b=c. So if you do something don’t say well I did not want to disturb you. You did the same.. well I thought..