The only thing I know is this:

About says it all

“The only thing I know is this: I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet.”
― Nikos Kazantzakis

I sometimes think I’m standing…… I have to check from time to time.  I have been hurt and cut so many time that its hard to say any more what the worst one was.   Here are some of the greatest hits:  I treat you bad because I know you will keep coming back.  You’re a complete and total disappointment to me….  I wont ever leave you behind. . .  I can’t love you any more I love some one else it just happened I’m sorry I did not mean to hurt you.  There are many, many more these are the one’s that have left marks and I’m still friends with all three of the people who have said theses  things.  Blues Oyster Cult has a great song

Blue Oyster Cult – Veteran Of The Psychic Wars

You see me now a veteran of a thousand psychic wars
I’ve been living on the edge so long
Where the winds of limbo roar
And I’m young enough to look at
And far too old to see
All the scars are on the inside
I’m not sure if there’s anything left of me

I get asked if I will find a new girl friend and I have to think for about 3 seconds my answer is always the same….. NO……   I will find my companionship by the hour.   I’m tired of the putting my self out there to be forgotten or looked over or dismissed because they accidently fell in love with someone else.  I know people will say well You ( being me ) did not do your part that’s why. . .  Ok maybe yes maybe no all I know is why do I have to be the one to step up or step aside when it looks like its going ok. .  When you do ask ” What’s eating at you???? ”  you get its nothing or don’t worry about it.  I know I can be tuff to live with but there are two in a relationship the issue is when one forgets that…..


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