We the willing


Yes I can be that guy

Let me tell you about an amazing woman.  She has a style and grace all to her self.  He has had a ruff life two men that abused her and she took it.  I won’t writes about sins of others it’s not my place.  I have PTSD and a few other Mental illness that I have stated in past blogs.
I also abused her.  Never wanted to hear about her growing up and then when we would fight I would always teller her Shut the fuck up before the fight gets worse.
And with her style and grace she would inhale nod and turn quiet.  I broke her heart 4 times and on the 4th there was nothing left.  So she fell in love with a man that treated her with Kindness respect and caring I use to.
When we started she got all the Candy as she would call it and as time went on I got worse.  To the point that she would not want to be near me when I was. To be honest, well most of the time she would try and I would wall.
But through all of that She stayed my friend she staid by my side as a friend.  I recently had a ruff patch and she was there on the phone to say kind words and hold my hand.
A woman that had every right to say go fuck your self you bastard. Would take my calls and with the voice will care and love from the past let me talk and let me be with her at least in my mind as I closed my eyes and was back in the garden with  the morning glories and the dogs running free.  She took all my venom and spite but still cut out time for me when I needed her.  
I wish I was smart enough to understand what I had when I was there.  But maybe that was the lesson that I needed.  I saved her once she saves me when ever I call.  Her husband calls her an Angel.  No she is more  oh so much more…….


There is a tv remake of a 80’s & 90’s movie on fox called lethal weapons. there was a scene in the show that helps some people understand that time does not heal. Time is a man made thing so that not every thing happens now its a cataloging system so we know when to do what and when things will be:

From a tv show but on this day it fits

Riggs: You know, it’s not getting any easier. Time’s not helping.
Maureen: Why would it?
Riggs: ‘Cause everybody says that it does.
Maureen: People who say that don’t understand. Time is cruel. It punishes. I mean, we sentence people to time. I don’t know that it makes it any easier.
Riggs: Then what am I doing here?
Maureen: You’re looking for a way to make it hurt a little less. And in my experience, the only thing that helps is other people. Try connecting with the living.

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Lets make it Buddy check any day

Buddy check

October 10th is world mental health day.. if you did not know … You should, many suffer for mental illness I was lucky I have friends/family that under stand. I long to end the pain of this illness. I know my friends have paid for my illness. Some with broken heart some with hurt feelings but they never left me. Some had to break up with me to save them selves but still stayed close and helped me. Today is a day that we need to remember that not every one says I’m going to kill my self. They just do it. Wednesday is called buddy check day if you did time in the service…… I think it should just be a thing you never know what a call will do.

What is Home where is home

Dad took a Nap

There’s an old saying at least once a year we should go someplace we have never been I did that this year and I found that sometimes home Is not always about a house not always a building it’s not always a tent or Van. sometimes home Just having something that you’re missing. That certain thing for me it’s my dog. I may never find my home no but I found what makes me feel at home and her name is Heidi.